I am sooooo excited!! :)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Life.
Merry Christmas Blog-o-sphere!
Well, here we are Christmas day, and I honestly don't know what to blog about.
My mom got me a Espresso machine, which rocks cause I love coffee and means I would actually have to start making my own.
But what I really want for Christmas is to find out who my true friends are. Friends are people who are there for you through thick and thin, through crushes and romances, through laughter and sorrow. But as I sit here in my house with my family I only wish to be spending time with my friends like we used to. We used to all come over to my house and goof off, go to DJ's house and be idiots talking about string cheese and getting high off the caffeine in knock-off brand soda. We used to have dance parties in my room and just turn on the music and entertain ourselves for hours doing absolutely nothing.
And now I find myself growing older and maturing against my will. As maturity closes in, my friends close off.
I have a boyfriend, who I love more than anything in the world, and we are still able to act like we are seven and be as silly as always. But it seems to me that, once I receive this boy who has been my friend for years and the apple-of-my-eye for most of our friendship I see my friends drifting away.
My best friends now viewed as rivals and fearing every second that they can destroy me with the information we have shared. I know that they smile at my face then turn around and spit vile things to whoever is around. I know this to be to be true because I watch as they smile at each other then spit in my face as soon as one leaves. I have to close my eyes and mouth, and plug my ears to try and protect myself from this acid that eats away at each friendship until there is nothing but despair, confusion, tears, and yes, even hatred.
Even my "brother" is now more a acquaintance.
Of course, I have made new friends and became closer with those who have proven to be my true friend.
But it seems in my curiosity and unfamiliarity with relationships and playing the role of one's "girlfriend" seems to have its way of returning to bite me square in the tooshie.
Now, I know just as much as any little girl that has watched all the romance movies and read the fairy tales and dreamed of that prince, but I seemed to be completely unprepared for the dynamics of a true relationship. Not the boy-girl relationship but how this effects those around me and those who I have been close to.
Its like opening the Pandora's box on the people who you are closest to; one really begins to see the true colors beneath the masks and the make-up.
So, what I truly want for Christmas is to have friends. Not people in masks, but heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul friendships with those I care about.
Merry Christmas to everyone I hope it was a good one.
Well, here we are Christmas day, and I honestly don't know what to blog about.
My mom got me a Espresso machine, which rocks cause I love coffee and means I would actually have to start making my own.
But what I really want for Christmas is to find out who my true friends are. Friends are people who are there for you through thick and thin, through crushes and romances, through laughter and sorrow. But as I sit here in my house with my family I only wish to be spending time with my friends like we used to. We used to all come over to my house and goof off, go to DJ's house and be idiots talking about string cheese and getting high off the caffeine in knock-off brand soda. We used to have dance parties in my room and just turn on the music and entertain ourselves for hours doing absolutely nothing.
And now I find myself growing older and maturing against my will. As maturity closes in, my friends close off.
I have a boyfriend, who I love more than anything in the world, and we are still able to act like we are seven and be as silly as always. But it seems to me that, once I receive this boy who has been my friend for years and the apple-of-my-eye for most of our friendship I see my friends drifting away.
My best friends now viewed as rivals and fearing every second that they can destroy me with the information we have shared. I know that they smile at my face then turn around and spit vile things to whoever is around. I know this to be to be true because I watch as they smile at each other then spit in my face as soon as one leaves. I have to close my eyes and mouth, and plug my ears to try and protect myself from this acid that eats away at each friendship until there is nothing but despair, confusion, tears, and yes, even hatred.
Even my "brother" is now more a acquaintance.
Of course, I have made new friends and became closer with those who have proven to be my true friend.
But it seems in my curiosity and unfamiliarity with relationships and playing the role of one's "girlfriend" seems to have its way of returning to bite me square in the tooshie.
Now, I know just as much as any little girl that has watched all the romance movies and read the fairy tales and dreamed of that prince, but I seemed to be completely unprepared for the dynamics of a true relationship. Not the boy-girl relationship but how this effects those around me and those who I have been close to.
Its like opening the Pandora's box on the people who you are closest to; one really begins to see the true colors beneath the masks and the make-up.
So, what I truly want for Christmas is to have friends. Not people in masks, but heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul friendships with those I care about.
Merry Christmas to everyone I hope it was a good one.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Break the Glass
Hope crosses the mind.
Soul searching,
heart wrenching.
A closed mind
opposed
to a closed heart.
How can they be held within a grasp?
Open the mind
A new idea,
A new identity,
love.
The heart is undefined.
Warmth breaks the glass.
A door opens,
Another closes.
Why did it close?
Two doors open at once in impossibility.
The doors have no handles,
No physical weakness
To be used against it.
Eyes closed.
The mind
And the heart free.
The bird sings,
A river is seen,
The perfect mirror.
Dark and glassy,
Moving steadily.
A face is seen,
Eyes still closed,
The door is still closed.
Break the glass.
A door opens.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Girls are like Trees
Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
This kind of goes along with my earlier post about True Love.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The Adjustment Bureau
So I just got done watching The Adjustment Bureau, for those of you who haven't seen it, I recommend it to all. It is a great movie and really gets one thinking about the life and its legalities. The Adjustment Bureau is represented in this movie as a business/bureau in order to make it relatable and make it something we all understand.
2. Try to recognize it in our life.
That relationship didn't work out?
Maye there is something better out there for you.
There are infinite possibilities and outcomes to life, so don't be discouraged by that one plan that didn't work out in your eyes. What we truly need to find out is what is "the plan" and how we fit into it.
Continue to think and theorize and dream.
SPOILER ALERT!
Now what they do is they keep humanity on "track" according to "the plan". "The Plan" is written by the Chairman, which can be symbolic of God (hints throughout the movie suggesting this but never actually confirming 100%), he writes "the plan" which can be thought of as Fate or Destiny. It is basically what is going to happen or what He wants to happen according to His plan. To which the 'he' I am referring to is a capital 'h' or not is completely up to subjective view by those of you who have watched the movie and depending on what you believe.
Matt Damon plays a politician running for Senate and according to "the plan" is supposed to win the election and go on to run/become the president of the United States. But this was a modified version of "the plan". Apparently there are many different versions that He writes, and is continuously writing. But Matt Damon's character, Dave, meets a girl named Elise, which happens to be his soul mate, or true love, as you wish to call it. Now they do acknowledge the fact that Fate does has power over "the plan" because Dave and Elise keep meeting by chance, despite the many efforts made by The Adjustment Bureau to keep them apart so "the plan" continues accordingly. But go on to explain that this Fate meeting was because in earlier versions of "the plan" Dave and Elise were supposed to be together so they are constantly drawn to each other. At the end of the movie, they defy "the plan" and completely inspired by the love they have for each other He rewrites "the plan" which allows them to be together.
Not only was this movie well made in the plot department, but it really gets one thinking about the possibilities of The Adjustment Bureau in reality. Do we really have free will, or does every move we make a choice perfectly calculated to get to the perfect destination at the end of "the plan"? According to the movie, we do ultimately have free will to overwrite "the plan" but we need to:
1. Realize that we are being controlled.2. Try to recognize it in our life.
3. Fight against it.
But many of us when we find something amazing we decide it might just be easier to look at it and say "Hey that's cool!" and leave it to be eventually forgotten. What we don't realize is the potential within all of us. Ultimately we do live in His plan. Now, to who that is I truly don't know. God, Allah, Annunaki? Hey, I don't know 100%, all I have are my ideas and theories. But we do live in the sentences and pages of His book. Everything happens for a reason, as I like to believe. That relationship didn't work out?
Maybe your not supposed to be in that type of relationship right now.
Didn't get that job?Maye there is something better out there for you.
There are infinite possibilities and outcomes to life, so don't be discouraged by that one plan that didn't work out in your eyes. What we truly need to find out is what is "the plan" and how we fit into it.
Another interesting point I found in the movie was the Adjustment Bureau worker Harry, was helping Dave against everything in "the plan" and against The Chairman. It makes me wonder about if we have any angels like that. Not only for good but bad as well. Maybe some deviation from the plan is a good thing, but we all hear about 'Satan' trying to discourage us from the path of God. So what if there were these employees or angels or whatever you want to call them that affect us and conflict us to deviate from "the plan". Something to think about right there.
Next point is that the Adjustment Bureau employee, Thomas, was explaining to Dave why they cant
just leave humans to act as they want and let Fate go as it wants. He said that they helped us up to the point of the height of the Roman Empire and then we gave them the Dark Ages, they gave us the Renaissance and the Enlightenment Period as a hope that we would learn how to control our own Fates but we gave them WWI and WWII, the Holocaust and the almost destruction of the Earth with the Cuban Missile Crisis. At this point Dave pointed out that the world isn't in such a great state now so whats going on with that? Thomas merely said "Its still here isn't it?". Left to decide and create our own Fates we have almost killed the Earth and destroyed ourselves completely. I find a lot of truth in Thomas' words and the facts that we cant control our own Fates.
Its a lot to think about but the fact is that you are now thinking, and that changes "the plan". 
just leave humans to act as they want and let Fate go as it wants. He said that they helped us up to the point of the height of the Roman Empire and then we gave them the Dark Ages, they gave us the Renaissance and the Enlightenment Period as a hope that we would learn how to control our own Fates but we gave them WWI and WWII, the Holocaust and the almost destruction of the Earth with the Cuban Missile Crisis. At this point Dave pointed out that the world isn't in such a great state now so whats going on with that? Thomas merely said "Its still here isn't it?". Left to decide and create our own Fates we have almost killed the Earth and destroyed ourselves completely. I find a lot of truth in Thomas' words and the facts that we cant control our own Fates. Continue to think and theorize and dream.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Brothers, Boys, and Airsofting Toys.
Some of you might be wondering 'Hey Not-So-Average Teen, what did you do today??' Well I am here to happily inform you I went airsofting with my brothers and some good friends. If you don't know what airsofting is then I am truly sorry to inform you, you have been deprived.
Airsofting is by definition:
Well, and the boy I like was there so that is always good. But my brothers and my father were also accompanying us. My dad and the older two boys are chill with me but the younger ones are whiners! Even so, it was a fun day.
Side note: my 'r' key is not working very well.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I think that may have fixed it.
That's all about my day today!
Thanks for reading!
Bless your face!
If you sneezed during this post then bless you!
Peace off! (Props to Toby Tuner)
Airsofting is by definition:
Airsoft is a modern combat sport or recreational hobby in which participants eliminate opponents by hitting each other with spherical non-metallic pellets launched from a compressed-air gun (or Soft Air gun) powered by gas, manual spring-load, or an electrically-powered gearbox.Are you feeling smarter? Cause I know I am. Pretty shnazzy definition right? Alright, so airsofting is just how it sounded in that ingenious definition. My family and I use it to mainly learn tactics and strategies and to, of course, have bundles and bundles of fun. As said so wisely by Samurai maxim ~Tomorrow's battle is won during today's practice~ So we practiced today and it was super fun! It was fun to see some of the guy's tactics and to share guns and such.
Well, and the boy I like was there so that is always good. But my brothers and my father were also accompanying us. My dad and the older two boys are chill with me but the younger ones are whiners! Even so, it was a fun day.
Side note: my 'r' key is not working very well.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I think that may have fixed it.
That's all about my day today!
Thanks for reading!
Bless your face!
If you sneezed during this post then bless you!
Peace off! (Props to Toby Tuner)
Friday, July 22, 2011
Prince Romeo in Shining Armor
Prince Charming
Knight in Shining Armor
Romeo
As females we grow up with this girlish image of our "perfect man", but has it ever truly been accomplished? Has someone, anyone, been able to find the gorgeous boy, with perfect hair, a beautiful singing voice, big unequaled castle and a need to protect you at all given costs?
Eh, maybe.
I think some of us give up on finding true love, and give up on the power of true love's kiss. I'm not saying we should as stay virgins and blah blah blah... but, I stand to say that as females we have forgotten that he is not just a fairy tale. Everyone has a soul mate and a true love, so don't settle for less!
Really, I will always hold my standards high and wait for the boy to reach them, cause if he can't, he isn't worth it. Why spend all the time, drama, and heartache over someone random that you lowered your standards for?
Personally, I think that the best relationships come out of friendships. When you truly know each other and you an have fun without engaging in anything sensual. When you can act like an idiot, and your not afraid of anything because you know him and he knows you. That's the biggest component in my Prince Charming.
What is exactly in my Prince Charming??
Not much, all I really want is to find the boy that loves ME. My personality, my looks, my quirks, everything and has a want to keep me safe. Is True Love too much to ask for? I hope not. So everything I have ever learned about Prince Charming can be kicked to the curb as long as I have True Love.
Knight in Shining Armor
Romeo
As females we grow up with this girlish image of our "perfect man", but has it ever truly been accomplished? Has someone, anyone, been able to find the gorgeous boy, with perfect hair, a beautiful singing voice, big unequaled castle and a need to protect you at all given costs?
Eh, maybe.
Really, I will always hold my standards high and wait for the boy to reach them, cause if he can't, he isn't worth it. Why spend all the time, drama, and heartache over someone random that you lowered your standards for?
Personally, I think that the best relationships come out of friendships. When you truly know each other and you an have fun without engaging in anything sensual. When you can act like an idiot, and your not afraid of anything because you know him and he knows you. That's the biggest component in my Prince Charming.
What is exactly in my Prince Charming??
Not much, all I really want is to find the boy that loves ME. My personality, my looks, my quirks, everything and has a want to keep me safe. Is True Love too much to ask for? I hope not. So everything I have ever learned about Prince Charming can be kicked to the curb as long as I have True Love.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Just the Beginning
So welcome!
Anyone who might be reading this...
Let me give you a little background about myself:
I am currently sixteen years of age, I will be a senior in high school. I have a ton of friends and a fully active social life, which also means a very dramatic social life. But hey, its high school drama should be its middle name.. if it had one, that is.
When trying to narrow it down to my best friends I still have a lot. Both of the male and the female verity.
I am involved with Cheerleading, Band, FFA, 4-H, Speech and Debate, AP classes (or the smart kid groups), and attempting to push my way into the Theater crowd. Hmm so yea I am very involved at school.
At home I have both a mother and a father that are together after 20 years of marriage. Even though their marriage isn't doing the greatest right now I am sure everything will pull through. I have five other siblings. Four brothers and my wonderful sister. Cameron, the eldest, will be 20 in August and I am extremely proud to say that he is special. Literally, he is special needs but more importantly he is special to me and to a lot of people. The other three brothers (Nicholas, Dakota, and Ryan) are all younger than me but soon to be entering the pubescent stage of life which scares the daylights out of me. My sister is Brittany she is 18 and just graduated high school! I love her dearly! I do live on a farm in Montana, no I am not a hick nor do I ride my horses to school, but I live here in this beautiful place doing what I must, pushing on through life.
Ah, relationship wise. Currently I do not know what I am. Single or in a relationship. Confused? I am too don't worry. I shall explain... later. But basically I just gave away my first kiss to a boy I really, really like. We have been really good friends for over a year. He is on vacation currently, in another country, on another continent, half way around the world. But he gets back in a week so I will hopefully have some good news for you by then!
Well at this point if you still think that I, the cheer leading band geek, and the smart kid theater/farmer gal, sound like a pretty normal girl then say no more, I need not to prove my Not-So-Averageness. It should show its way as you (hopefully) keep reading.
So some of my interests, lets see.
Favorite Comedian: Dane Cook, so if I seem to quote him a lot take no mind. I do love him.
Favorite Color: Don't have one. I end up liking a lot of different colors and cant really narrow it down.
Favorite Food: Any kind of soup, anything spicy, and of course... GRAVY! I love the stuff cant get enough of it. Weird? I know.
Favorite Animal: Again I cant narrow it down.
And now I am just running out of ideas for favorite so you are welcome to ask away!
Soooo on to the next thing.
I am sort of a gun nut. Really, I am. Not in the I-collect-them-and-one-day-will-destroy-the-world-with-them kind of way but more of the I-have-been-raised-by-a-gun-nut-and-have-been-shooting-all-my-life-and-not-to-brag-but-I-totally-kick-butt kind of way.
Religiously? I am bit of a religious wanderer. My father's side of the family is all Mormon, except for my grandma who is Pagan. My mother's side of the family is all Christian except for my mother who is also Pagan. So I never really got that family that took you to church every Sunday in hopes that you find a relationship with God type thing. I got "Honey, we give you free choice of what you want to believe in, because you are you and God is God no matter what the title." Which I gotta say was inspiring and all but it kind of just left me hanging by myself to make sense of the feelings in my heart and to answer my calling (which I still haven't figured out mine, but I will eventually). So I mainly turned to Paganism with my mother and grandmother, no I did not worship Idols, or sacrifice animals, or do any of that Gothic voodoo crap people think about when they think Pagan. Sorry, that's Wicca. Not Pagan. Pagan means "country dweller" or "a countryman". Two completely different things. Not similar. At all.
We good? Good.
So yea, it wasn't until recently when one of my good friends brought me to a place called Skullchurch that I have started to believe I have found my place. Now Skullchurch, no it isn't a cult or anything bad. I will spend another post on that. But I basically found God and I believe that this is the path I need to be taking right now.
My hopes for this blog is just to sort of get my thoughts out there and use this as my own personal journal, so sorry if I am not very good at this whole blogging thing. But its my first on so hopefully it should get easier! I hope to somehow in some sort of way influence someone in my blog or maybe just introduce a new idea, or make someone think of something differently. So I hope, if your reading this you will stick with me. The Not-So-Average Teen as I try to fight my way thought this crazy thing called Life.
Anyone who might be reading this...
Let me give you a little background about myself:
I am currently sixteen years of age, I will be a senior in high school. I have a ton of friends and a fully active social life, which also means a very dramatic social life. But hey, its high school drama should be its middle name.. if it had one, that is.
When trying to narrow it down to my best friends I still have a lot. Both of the male and the female verity.
I am involved with Cheerleading, Band, FFA, 4-H, Speech and Debate, AP classes (or the smart kid groups), and attempting to push my way into the Theater crowd. Hmm so yea I am very involved at school.
At home I have both a mother and a father that are together after 20 years of marriage. Even though their marriage isn't doing the greatest right now I am sure everything will pull through. I have five other siblings. Four brothers and my wonderful sister. Cameron, the eldest, will be 20 in August and I am extremely proud to say that he is special. Literally, he is special needs but more importantly he is special to me and to a lot of people. The other three brothers (Nicholas, Dakota, and Ryan) are all younger than me but soon to be entering the pubescent stage of life which scares the daylights out of me. My sister is Brittany she is 18 and just graduated high school! I love her dearly! I do live on a farm in Montana, no I am not a hick nor do I ride my horses to school, but I live here in this beautiful place doing what I must, pushing on through life.
Ah, relationship wise. Currently I do not know what I am. Single or in a relationship. Confused? I am too don't worry. I shall explain... later. But basically I just gave away my first kiss to a boy I really, really like. We have been really good friends for over a year. He is on vacation currently, in another country, on another continent, half way around the world. But he gets back in a week so I will hopefully have some good news for you by then!
Well at this point if you still think that I, the cheer leading band geek, and the smart kid theater/farmer gal, sound like a pretty normal girl then say no more, I need not to prove my Not-So-Averageness. It should show its way as you (hopefully) keep reading.
So some of my interests, lets see.
Favorite Comedian: Dane Cook, so if I seem to quote him a lot take no mind. I do love him.
Favorite Color: Don't have one. I end up liking a lot of different colors and cant really narrow it down.
Favorite Food: Any kind of soup, anything spicy, and of course... GRAVY! I love the stuff cant get enough of it. Weird? I know.
Favorite Animal: Again I cant narrow it down.
And now I am just running out of ideas for favorite so you are welcome to ask away!
Soooo on to the next thing.
I am sort of a gun nut. Really, I am. Not in the I-collect-them-and-one-day-will-destroy-the-world-with-them kind of way but more of the I-have-been-raised-by-a-gun-nut-and-have-been-shooting-all-my-life-and-not-to-brag-but-I-totally-kick-butt kind of way.
Religiously? I am bit of a religious wanderer. My father's side of the family is all Mormon, except for my grandma who is Pagan. My mother's side of the family is all Christian except for my mother who is also Pagan. So I never really got that family that took you to church every Sunday in hopes that you find a relationship with God type thing. I got "Honey, we give you free choice of what you want to believe in, because you are you and God is God no matter what the title." Which I gotta say was inspiring and all but it kind of just left me hanging by myself to make sense of the feelings in my heart and to answer my calling (which I still haven't figured out mine, but I will eventually). So I mainly turned to Paganism with my mother and grandmother, no I did not worship Idols, or sacrifice animals, or do any of that Gothic voodoo crap people think about when they think Pagan. Sorry, that's Wicca. Not Pagan. Pagan means "country dweller" or "a countryman". Two completely different things. Not similar. At all.
We good? Good.
So yea, it wasn't until recently when one of my good friends brought me to a place called Skullchurch that I have started to believe I have found my place. Now Skullchurch, no it isn't a cult or anything bad. I will spend another post on that. But I basically found God and I believe that this is the path I need to be taking right now. (If your interested in Skull Church check it out, follow this link~ Skull Church)
And that is basically I have right now on, well, me!My hopes for this blog is just to sort of get my thoughts out there and use this as my own personal journal, so sorry if I am not very good at this whole blogging thing. But its my first on so hopefully it should get easier! I hope to somehow in some sort of way influence someone in my blog or maybe just introduce a new idea, or make someone think of something differently. So I hope, if your reading this you will stick with me. The Not-So-Average Teen as I try to fight my way thought this crazy thing called Life.
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